somewhere out there

the lyrics of "Somewhere Out There" convey the love felt by two people separated by vast distances, but cheered by the belief that their love will eventually reunite them to be with each other once again. In the original theatrical production, the fictional characters singing "Somewhere Out There", Fievel and Tanya Mousekewitz, are brother and sister, and the love they share is described as general. however, in the more popular single version of the song, the love is described as more romantic.

this song was a potential Top 40 hit, and popularised by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram. originally written by James Horner, Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil.

listening to this song, gave me courage to sail through the difficult time of living alone. Facing all most possible unhappy situation. he said, survival is the most important thing that I have to learn. And I am learning it now, at this moment and until when in the future I do not know. perhaps it is going to be a lifelong learning. knowing he is there supporting me from vast distance, put me in tears and smiles at the same time. 

  

Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me
And loving me tonight

Somewhere out there
Someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another
In that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we'll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

#love #music 

finally she surrendered

18 September 2014 - 06.25 West Indonesian Time

i received a phone call from my brother.

the phone that i knew i will receive one day, at an unpredictable time. 

"mom passed away." she finally surrendered.

three weeks before she fulfilled her final call, I visited her at the hospital.

she had been in the high care unit for nearly 2 weeks. never out from the hospital since the first time she rushed in. totally, one month and 6 days.

she had a tremendous flank bleeding.

that day i visited her, we had a very good talk. heart to heart. religious music that i played close to her ears very gentle accompanied her story. She said she was tired, and wish the final call will come soon. she was in tears, then she smiled. she hold my hand tightly, and I do not want to release her hand either. while i still can physically touch her.

i only can spend 3 days there, and have to go back to where I am now.

her condition going up and down, expanding the roller coaster mood in my mind. a hope still be lighted deep inside. 

the day she passed away, i went to the airport trying to get flight that can bring me back home. still in that kind situation, emotion should be suppressed into the lower limit, facing un-friendly ground handling of a famous (NON BUDGET) carrier. 

back to my hometown, approaching the funeral house, my feeling was really played. tears uncontrolled, knowing that very soon I will face the reality.

she was laid in her coffin. looks as she was sleeping. the requiem held. people gathered. she is a popular old lady. many friends. i was there but not really there. my mind wandering around. Jumping from one memory to another. 

the last song that I wanted to transfer to her is the below song: lagu untuk mama (song for mom). unfortunately, it was unable to transfer it on the day she started losing her consciousness, 2 days before her forever departure.

i wrote this note to remember my mom, and send her the song that i would like her to hear.

good bye mom. i miss you.