bridge over troubled water

life is so unfriendly lately, but who cares..... this is just a station of transit.
live the life - i only have - the only chance nicely.., get the best out of everything.
i know in many cases i am not that optimistic..., but i am learning to be stronger and stronger everyday.

i will always remember friends in difficulties, friends who forget me in my difficulties, and friends who created difficulties for me.

emphasizing friends in difficulties, i found (not many) who truly like "bridge over troubled water", a legendary song by simon and garfunkel , released as a single in 26th january 1970, and in just a month and 2 days it sat at number one billboard 100 chart for six weeks. the single was sold around 6 million copies around the world.



early morning, 4 sept 2012. i was alone and decided to take some photographs of a river which i like very much. wanted to try my new kenko kb-67nd8 67mm standard coated neutral density filter 8X.

i like the result pretty much, but need more time to explore on using it. it was a working day, and i was not having enough time to 'play with'. will do again shortly, can be at the same river different spot, or totally different object.

see you, and be always optimistic, this world is just a station of transit, while we are here, harness that!

how can i leave you again?

since i was a little girl, i have already been a big fan of john denver. my late dad is a country music lover, but he also listened to many music genres which brought me to a universal music listener.

my favorite song of john denver music are how can i leave you again, shanghai breeze, and sunshine on my shoulder.

amongst those 3 songs, i like best how can i leave you again



i was only 9 or 10 years old, when my dad played the record for the first time and then the movie of john denver sung this song. 

until now, it is so difficult to hold my tears when listening to this song. it is not only the memories about my dad, but also caused by the song was sung beautifully and the lyric ...oooh it is strongly influenced me... especially in the time when i am in vague if the path i am taking is the correct one...

question the course that i follow
i am doubtful deep in despair
my heart is filled with impossible notions
can it be you no longer care?

but i have YOU and MOTHER MARY. on your hand i surrender my life. i should not be in doubt...., i should be thankful..., i should follow the path available in front of me and trust the compass shown by YOU... 

HOW CAN I LEAVE YOU AGAIN? 


D  Em  A  A7Sus4

       D
In a spaceship over the mountains
        Em7        G             D
chasing rainbows in the setting sun
         G        Em7           D      Bm
leaving heart and home for the city of angels
  Em7                A
I feel my life is undone

           D
There are pathways winding below me
    Em7           G              D
In pleasure I've gone where they go
         G    Em7       D          Bm
In the quiet stillness, I can hear symphonies,
    Em7                 A
the loveliest music I know

(Chorus)

Em7        A          D    Bm
How can I leave you again?
  Em7            A        F#m7  Bm
I must be clear out of my mind
Em7       F#m               G
Lost in a storm I've gone blind
    Em7        A          D
Oh, how can I leave you again?

(Bridge)

         Em7                          D
Oh, it's been a long time since I've listened
      Em7                            D
still longer since I've walked with you
         Em7                        D
For the first time I know what I'm missing
     Em              C      A  A7sus4
Some answers are no longer true..... so I

(Verse 2)

  D
question the course that I follow
    Em7        G          D
I'm doubtful, deep in despair
    G       Em7            D       Bm
My heart is filled with impossible notions
       Em7               A
Can it be you no longer care?

         D
Still I ride on the wings of a high wind
         Em7         G       D
blowing steady and strong behind me
         G       Em7         D          Bm
As the clouds surrender, my fate is for certain --
      Em7                     A
I'm a sailor who runs to the sea... but    (to chorus)

playing with photoshop - fairy tales

i was having a chit chat with a photographer friend about how expensive a good filter is. we were talking about the silky effect on water photography, we saw many pictures of silky water sea, waterfalls etc, and were amazed by the mystical effect of it. then at the end, i teased him that he can get the silky effect by using adobe photoshop rather than buy those expensive filters. he laughed and laughed....

then, i was triggered to play creating water effect with adobe photoshop. later on, my imagination going infinity and below is the result:

since i was a kid, i always like fairy tales stories.  fairy tales of hans christian andersen is one of my favorite besides grimm's. i watched most of barbie fairy stories, and i like best 
barbie as rapunzel

enjoy.

in remembrance - dad

10 years ago, was a very shocking day for my family especially myself.

my dad passed away, being suffered from a serious tumor near his stem brain nothing much we could do, only pray, beside he was not young anymore.

my eldest sister is a doctor, she knew exactly what was going to be happened to our dad and we were forced to count the day until the final count down.

losing someone that you love and admire would not be easy. i am still carrying the uncomfortable feeling when hearing ambulance siren or seeing its lamp flashing at night.

i still remember every single moment of the day when we finally lose our dad.

i was alone living in this small island, all my sisters and brothers were leaving in different cities in a different island.

my dad is a music lover. from him i learned various type of music since my childhood time, those experience brought me up to also like different type of music. from mainstream jazz, classical, traditional music from various country such as japanese enka.

in an occasion like today, i usually went to the beach where his ash were buried (in the sea) early in the morning, saying prayers and 'talk' to him.

this is the view from the place I stood still early morning, sending roses and prayers for my dad. recall all memories from every stage of my life when he was still with me.

dad is a humble man, with a very strong determination, taught us the value of sincerity, honesty and generosity which faded now from the modern society.

i still want to hold that value until the time i will also go. the value that will always put me in a peaceful mind, as i do not need to be a 'fake' me.

when the corpse of my dad was still at home, the song that i played to ease my mind is 'it never entered my mind' sung by  stacey kent from her album in love again - the music of richard rodgers.


but when i knew dance with my father again by luther vandross, my heart was melted and could not hold my tears. until now, i always cry when listening to this song. below is the link to a youtube video of the stunning song.

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

bogoshipda 보고싶다

this song haunted me like a ghost for more than a year (sung beautifully by kim bum soo )
i always sob when listening ... even only to the introduction.
i think this is a kind of song that has a soul in it.
first time i listen to the song i did not even understand any single words of the lyrics, but somehow i can feel the pain.





then..., i found the lyric in korean and english, and it is very true.


No matter how long I wait, I just can't leave,
Like a fool,
Crying, by your side.

How can I not know,
That all you can give me is pain,
But I'll still continue to wait,
Even when you tell me to go.

I miss you, I miss you,
So much that I even hate this side of me,
I want to cry,
I am on my knees,
If only things didn't happen the way it did.

The memories of me being madly in love with you,
I search for you in those memories, but,
I can no longer hold on to you,
Using love as my excuse,
Although I shouldn't be this way,
But I miss you so much I feel I'm dying.

I miss you, I miss you,
So much that I even hate this side of me,
I want to believe, that this is the right path,
That all I can do for you is to leave.

The memories of me being madly in love with you,
I search for you in those memories, but,
I can no longer hold on to you,
Using love as my excuse,
Although I shouldn't be this way,
But I miss you so much I feel I'm dying.

I want to forget so much it feels like dying.


today, i wrote this post to comfort my own feeling. feel so sad that finally a best friend will have a new assignment in a place which quiet far away from the place i stayed.


i also found wise words from my friend's post, originally by richard bach which written like this:
do not be dismayed by goodbyes. a farewell is necessary before you can meet again. and meeting again, after moment and lifetimes, is certain for those who are in friends.


my prayers are following you wherever you go. wish you luck. your place is not there actually... am praying for your original wish to be comes true (we both know what it is) but let HIM do his part to knit the best future for you.


take care.... bo go ship da

real unreal, masks and trust

people sometimes say that the way things happen in the movies is unreal, but actually it's the way things happen to you in life that's unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it's like watching television -- you don't feel anything (andy warhol)

"it is so damn difficult for me to understand people lately. some of them truly wearing mask covering their face, hiding reality inside, showing unreality outside, " a friend of mine said.


i am laying on my bed right now, looking out through my window, seeing the dark sky outside... million of stars twinkling giving clues that they are exist. 


thinking of you, people that i love..... you never wearing masks. 
sometimes won't be easy to understand you guys...., but there will always trust


(i could not continue anymore..... my memory full of gust ... longing badly of you..., people that i love...., my mind wandering to a composition from the phantom of the opera ..., masks......, trusts......., real ......, unreal....)

last voluntary music class - i'll wait for you

my friend simon's (twitter: @simonartphoto,  http://soonyfsimonpictureday.blogspot.com) comment on my post http://www.muziekforeveryone.com/2009/07/summer-samba-and-holy-spirit-minor.html  reminded me of the last day i gave my voluntary music class there (seminary).
for a reason, i could not continue it. i miss my students there. some of them very enthusiastic some not really.


it was so sad that the last lesson incidentally i gave, was an explanation of songs composed on minor scale (both harmonic and melodic). i remembered that day (end of may 2012) i felt so gloomy inside after the class was over. the same feeling i got when i decided to pull myself out of the music school.
the song that i used as a sample in explaining the minor scale was 'i'll wait for you' performed by acoustic cafe.





'i'll wait for you' is the music theme of a french musical movie back in the year 1964 by michael legrand titled: le parapluie de cherbourg (the umbrella of cherbourg). the leading lady was catherine deneuve.
that song was sung by great name such as frank sinatra, astrud gilberto, connie francis, etc.


here is the lyric of the song:


If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're back beside me, till I'm holding you
Till I hear you sigh here in my arms

Anywhere you wander, anywhere you go
Every day remember how I love you so
In your heart believe what in my heart I know
That forevermore I'll wait for you

The clock will tick away the hours one by one
Then the time will come when all the waiting's done
The time when you return and find me here and run
Straight to my waiting arms

If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're here beside me, till I'm touching you
And forevermore sharing your love


until now, i am still often in tears when listening to this song. it is so sentimental, and there is a little regret of choosing that song that day.


as i my reply to simon's comment i wrote on my older post http://www.muziekforeveryone.com/2009/07/summer-samba-and-holy-spirit-minor.html , please find herewith the new seminary after their renovation project (i give the link of the last photograph taken): https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.394603600581677.82699.203640906344615&type=3


enjoy!

photography, instagram, iphone and android

lately i have a new habit. i love taking pictures using smartphone especially iphone and android samsung.


playing with some softwares installed on it, such as instagram, adobe photoshop, picsart, and artstudio giving me lots of fun.


i try to develope my ability to cover the space and have a perfect balance on each picture. and now i am addicted.


below are some pictures i took earlier today at dijon cafe - kuta.


i always love the atmosphere of this little cafe, good food.... and nice music. they played a jazzy tune of classic jazz collection. but until now - i am still impressed with the clear voice of stacey kent  



enjoy my work!

here are some lovely gadget which is absolutely good to take pictures:

drawing - 2

my first drawing after a so long hybernating.


did it on a samsung galaxy note GT-N7000 unlocked phone


i haven't tried the samsung galaxy tab 7.7, i do want to experience using it, especially the response of the stylus. it doesn't have stylus attached on it as the samsung galaxy note.

i used autodesk sketchbook for android when doing the below strawberry drawing. it was fun tough! i will continue with other projects. 

drawing

have been absence for quiet sometimes, i did not do any drawings.

found my colored pencil drawing techniques book by gary greene just now, was like a trigger to start do drawings again.

to make things easier (read: practically) probably will do it digitally, very often i use prismacolor premier soft core colored pencils, 150 colored pencils, but for sure i won't leave the prismacolor as it is very good. will share the result when i finish my first drawing.

other interesting book by gary greene are:

the ultimate guide to colored pencil: over 35 step-by-step demonstrations for both traditional and watercolor pencils,

Creating Radiant Flowers in Colored Pencil: 64 step-by-step demos / 54 kinds of flowers

a house

met that lady in an occassion. she is a lady in her middle age. oriental - japanese look, not so sure.

there is something hidden in her eyes. sadness .....? a hope....? mysterious.....

want to dig more, but like talking to a wall. after a while finally she said she is dreaming of a house.

i want a house for my soul...., a house where my spoons and forks are stay complete. a house where i can pray of my own belief...., a house full of love and warm....

i want a house for my mind...., a house where my books are put alphabetically on its library shelves..., a house where my music played beautifully....

i want a house where my friends can visit me freely...., where the kitchen is small but clean...., where i can bake and cook for people that i love and care....

are you dreaming i asked politely ...., seeing her wine glass empty..., but i think it is not polite saying she was drunk

am not. do you know that everything is started from a dream....? my house is there .... in front of me ...., waiting for myself to stay in ..., it is about time...., it will wait for me .... i am sure....., very sure ......

she disappeared ...., and i asked myself...., are you drunk?

pretzel, peanuts, cookies and candy

i took the above photos using instagram on my apple iPod touch 8GB (4th Generation) - black - current version. then i did a very small adjustment on adobe photoshop CS5.

i like using instagram - http://instagram.com, the focus adjustment can fulfill of my longing of having a lytro camera - http://www.lytro.com (oh my..... when it is going to be available in indonesia? or at least in singapore.

pretzel recipe (taken from foodnetwork.com)

ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups warm (110 to 115 degrees F) water

• 1 tablespoon sugar

• 2 teaspoons kosher salt

• 1 package active dry yeast

• 22 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 1/2 cups

• 2 ounces unsalted butter, melted

• vegetable oil, for pan

• 10 cups water

• 2/3 cup baking soda

• 1 large egg yolk beaten with 1 tablespoon water

• Pretzel salt

directions:

combine the water, sugar and kosher salt in the bowl of a stand mixer and sprinkle the yeast on top. 

allow to sit for 5 minutes or until the mixture begins to foam. 

add the flour and butter and, using the dough hook attachment, mix on low speed until well combined. 

change to medium speed and knead until the dough is smooth and pulls away from the side of the bowl, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. 

remove the dough from the bowl, clean the bowl and then oil it well with vegetable oil. return the dough to the bowl, cover with plastic wrap and sit in a warm place for approximately 50 to 55 minutes or until the dough has doubled in size.

preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. 

line 2 half-sheet pans with parchment paper and lightly brush with the vegetable oil. Set aside.

bring the 10 cups of water and the baking soda to a rolling boil in an 8-quart saucepan or roasting pan.

In the meantime, turn the dough out onto a slightly oiled work surface and divide into 8 equal pieces. 

roll out each piece of dough into a 24-inch rope. 

make a u-shape with the rope, holding the ends of the rope, cross them over each other and press onto the bottom of the U in order to form the shape of a pretzel. 

place onto the parchment-lined half sheet pan.

place the pretzels into the boiling water, 1 by 1, for 30 seconds. 

remove them from the water using a large flat spatula. 

return to the half sheet pan, brush the top of each pretzel with the beaten egg yolk and water mixture and sprinkle with the pretzel salt. 

bake until dark golden brown in color, approximately 12 to 14 minutes. 

transfer to a cooling rack for at least 5 minutes before serving.

new commitment, new period

i am just passing the hardest period of my life, well.... it is not finished yet, however  i have found the limelight at the end of the tunnel.


no need to mourn all the time, it is the time to face the future which previously looks blurred. seems touchable, close.... but i just could not reach it.


my 'muziek for everyone', now will not be limited to music only, i will spread it into various type of the music of the life.


anything in this world is a music for me....,  my interest in photography, world of writings, culinary, arts .... all are music for me.


the sushi picture I attached herewith, was taken using iPhone 4's camera and slightly adjusted using leme-leme apps. i hope my life in the future will be more colorful like this nice sushi......


i always love sushi, and this is one of my favorite sushi recipe book: